happy new year.

ah.  Welcome twenty ten, albeit a few days late.  Someone told me the other day that the 80’s were thirty years ago.  Holy Hell.  How did that happen?  Seriously.  Wasn’t it just yesterday that I had feathered hair, used aqua net to get my bangs super high and wore a lot of florescent?  And jelly bracelets.  And listened to Madonna and Duran Duran.  Oh wait.  I still listen to them.  Anyhow, geez.  I have no idea where the time as gone, especially this past year.  And how am I already 34?  I’m actually a grown up now. And oh do I feel it.  I now moisturize my face twice a day, wear sunblock, drink more water than not, go to bed at a reasonable time, shop sales, drive a safe, reliable car, clean my house and do laundry on an almost daily basis, balance my checkbook, make meals rather than dining out, actually know how to use concealer and powder without looking too ‘made up’, am married, have a child who I am a stay at home mom to….wow.  Never in a million years would I have imagined I would have all of that and be okay with having all of that.  I have political discussions and actually know what I am talking about, watch the news with regularity and read things with substance.  Oh, sure, I still read my beloved smut, but I like things that actually capture my interest and are worth my time.  Okay, okay.  I refuse to give up my subscription to US Weekly.  Stop judging me.

December was especially difficult and I ended the year with quite the breakdown.  Many things came to cause it and running out of my medication and hubby not wanting to pay to refill it was only the coup de gras. Oh, sure, a few days later he ‘let’ me fill it.  But it was a few days too late.   The sad part is that he acted like it was no big thing.  Like nothing was wrong and that I was just making a big deal out of nothing.  Sure.  Me crouched down on the floor behind Bunny’s crib crying is no big deal.  Riiight.  Maybe for someone who is often melodramatic.  Or cries a lot.  Neither of which is me.  I guess the good part was that we canceled our before-Christmas celebration with my in-laws and had a mellowish week before we headed to visit my family for the actual holiday. And the best part of that was that Hubby decided to cancel with his family all on his own.  He was having a rather rough week at work as well and didn’t want to deal with his family, either.  And surprisingly, the wrath wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be when he called to cancel.  Regardless, that still doesn’t negate the fact that Hubby thinks the way he does and so sadly comes from a family that has no clue what compassion really is.

But, things quickly got better when we headed home to my family for the holiday.  Amazingly, my mother has put aside whatever differences she has with me and we had a grand time.  She adores Bunny, which is wonderful.  And she has turned out to be such a fantastic Oma.  I could not have asked for more.  And Bunny simply adores her.  I even convinced Hubby to stay an extra day, though I would have liked to stay much longer.  I got to see old friends, though not enough of them or for long enough, but I can’t complain.  Hubby did get several work calls the extra day we stayed, so I know I couldn’t push my luck to stay any longer.  Being down in LA really made me realize how much I missed it there.  The sun, the fun, the change of pace.  Lots of people.  Great shopping so close by.  Friends I haven’t seen in forever.  Warmth.  City life.  And so much to do so close by.

Coming back to reality has been a bit slow.  Hubby got all spun during all of his time off and when he began bleaching the bathroom ceiling, I knew it was time for him to go back to work.  Not only was he driving me bat shit crazy by being home and up in my grill, he had this ‘list’ in his head of things he wanted ME to accomplish while he was home.  Since he has no concept of what it REALLY takes to take care of Bunny, life was getting frustrating again, and fast.  Thankfully, he had his own ‘list’ that he was being preoccupied with.  But good GOD.  He needs to chill the fuck out.

Thankfully, I have been setting up play dates and getting back into my book club, though I have been sidetracked by other books besides the one I am supposed to be reading.  But, as a whole, things are looking up.  Though I would REALLY like to see the sun again.


3 responses to this post.

  1. Glad to see you again. And I’ve said something like this before but — I don’t know how you deal with your husband. Not refilling meds? WTF! He wouldn’t last TWO SECONDS with me. You put up with a lot of shit, girl. 😦

  2. Oh, Wendy. I always think about you when my husband is being an ass. I never, ever, thought I would put up with this kind of shit, yet I find myself constantly doing so. I just don’t get it. I don’t deserve it AT ALL. Blah.

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