some photos, some crankiness, some cuteness.

nap time!

nap time!

I am so friggen tired of people. Seriously. Why do people have to ask such dumb questions all the time? sigh. Yes, I am excited the baby is here. Yes, it was a long labor. Yes, things started out rough, but we are past that and are both doing well. I’m sorry if I haven’t returned your call or your email, I’m a bit exhausted these days. No, you cannot hold the baby, I don’t like you. Okay, so I haven’t said that, but I know the time when come when I want to say that. Yes, I am breastfeeding. But I don’t think it’s wrong to use formula, either. Yes, I look thinner. That’s what happens after you have a baby. Yes, I still hurt. I had major abdominal surgery. It takes time to heal. No, I don’t want any visitors today. I don’t care that you think her name is masculine, we like it, you don’t have to. Yes, I am exhausted. Did you miss the part where I just had a baby? Yes, nights are a bit rough. Every night is a different challenge but we’re getting by. No, I don’t wish I was still pregnant. I did not like being pregnant. Now please jut go away.

My mother, while she means very well, has been little help. She gets into these meek and timid poor me moods and it’s driving me nuts. And she doesn’t talk, she whispers everything because of the baby. That would be fine if the baby was sleeping, but she whispers everything all the time so you constantly have to ask her to repeat herself three or four times. All she can say is “oh, this time is just so precious, you have to enjoy it”. Um, really? Thanks. Then she scurries away to the kitchen where she does God knows what for hours on end. She has organized my kitchen cabinets and cleaned the washer and dryer so they look like new. She has ironed our sheets, though we told her she didn’t need to. Then she sits in the living room and reads. She has only held the baby twice and kept saying ” oh, this time is just so precious, you have to enjoy it” over and over. She’ll then get something in her mind, like how I need to eat the pear she just sliced up for me, and will follow me around the house, muttering to herself until I eat it. Just now she asked if it was okay for her to wash her hair in the kitchen sink because she is convinced our shower won’t heat up. Seriously? I told her since our house is so old, you have to wait longer than normal for the water to heat up. She wouldn’t believe me. So she friggen washed her hair in the kitchen sink. And now she won’t use our coffee maker because she “only wants a little” so she made a filter out of a paper towel, put coffee grounds in it and used hot water she heated up in a kettle, all of which took way longer than if she would have used the coffee maker. But whatever. She feels more like a random distant relative than a mother here to help, which is frustrating in and of itself.  And did I mention that she has this annoying habit of sucking her teeth excessively?  She has done this ever since I can remember and it drives me freaking nuts.  sigh.

Hubby has been much more helpful, though he’s gotten very tired of being home. He runs errands to get out of the house and this morning he bleached the ceiling in the bathroom. He’s been going running again too. I know it’s good for him to get out of the house. We’ve taken a few mini trips out with the baby but I still tire so easily. And just a little bit of walking kills my back. And while he knows I had major surgery, he is still going a mile a minute so I have to constantly remind him I’m not up for the same challenge that he is. I know he’s trying to be helpful in getting me out of the house and walking around, and I do appreciate that, but I don’t think he can fully comprehend what I went through and why I am so exhausted all the time. Plus, the baby eats all the time, so that wears on me as well, as does all the interrupted sleep.

so tiny, so little, not that big!

so tiny, so little, not that big!

Thankfully, though, I’m hardly taking any meds for pain these days. I’m down to about twice a day instead of every few hours. I do cry much easier as well, which is something I’m getting used to. I don’t cry for long and I never really know what I’m crying about, either. I think I’m just mentally overwhelmed. I keep future tripping, which is no good for me to do. I don’t want hubby to go back to work, but I want my mom to leave. I think she leaves tomorrow, or maybe Thursday. Hubby goes back to work next Wednesday, so at least I have another week with him at home.

The kitties have been very curious about the baby but have stayed away from her for the most part. We don’t let them in the bedroom at night right now but they come and go as they please throughout the day. They like to sit on the bed and investigate the baby, though they never come too close to her.

She’s actually a pretty good little girl. She has a good set of lungs, though she doesn’t use them all that often. She gets fussy somewhere in the middle of the night, then is up for a few hours, just fussing around. Luckily, hubby can sleep through most of it. He will get up if I need him, though, which is great. He’s gotten good at changing diapers, too, which has helped out a lot. He really likes being a dad, which is great. I need to start pumping so he can help out with the feedings. I want him to be able to bond with the baby like I do.

I think my feet are back to how they used to be before I was pregnant ~ it’s amazing how slim they look ~ and the rest of me is catching up as well. I might even have a belly button again one of these days! And today I was able to jam my engagement ring back on. It did get stuck just below the knuckle, but I managed ~ with the help of some liquid soap ~ to get it all the way on. I hadn’t been able to wear the ring for several months due to all my swelling, so it’s nice to have it back on. I always kept my wedding band on, but it’s nice to have the set together once again.

bright eyes

bright eyes

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Oh, she’s SO cute!!

    I’m glad you’re healing well. And I totally know what you mean about back pain. I think I was compensating for the pain in my abs by hunching over, so after a week or so my back was killing me!! That and all the leaning over to take care of the baby. Take it easy…and keep telling hubby to slow down for you.

    I’m sorry your mom isn’t being as helpful as you need (is she staying with you??). Is she cooking yummy food for you guys? It sounds like maybe she’s regretting some of how she was when you were a baby? I bet you’re looking forward to some family time – just the 3 of you.

    You look like a natural mommy!! =)

  2. That first photo is sooooo sweet.

  3. Posted by Simon Le Bon on August 27, 2008 at 11:38 am

    Is Maddy flipping us the bird in that second pic???

    Keeewl.

  4. yes, she is staying with us, which makes everything that much worse since our place is so small she has to sleep in the living room on a blow up mattress. She has not cooked a thing, but thankfully friends have dropped off food that we’ve been eating. She is just adding a lot of unnecessary tension which is making life at home a mess. And if she sucks her teeth one more time….

  5. She’s so precious. I’m glad y’all are settling in nicely. I hope your mom doesn’t drive you too crazy. Dare I ask how his parents have been helping?

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