this is why AA pisses me off.

i received this email this morning from my ‘sponsor’. seriously, are you fucking kidding me? oh, gee. i guess i should never get upset, never let anything bother me and continue to keep everything that bothers me inside. ahh. wait. i used to do that and that lead me to drink all the time….

Good morning,

I HOPE by now that the anger and resentment you had on Friday has been prayed away. We ask God to remove our defects of character. Life doesn’t go our way. But, I learned in AA that if there is something upsetting me, then I need to take a look at why. Step 4 teaches me how to take a look at our part and see what the anger and resentment effects. I learn that we need to take “blame” out of the situation.
That fact the you don’t like the Hospital is your opinion and it shouldn’t be expressed so harshly to others. The conversation with your doctor’s office was full of anger and resentment. Think how you would have felt being at the receiving end of the phone conversation when you swore at the receptionist. That was not appropriate behavior. Step 10 says, when we were wrong to promptly admit it.
As it worked out, you now have a good doctor and will deliver the baby at the hospital you really wanted to from the beginning. That is when I say “thanks God”.
After we complete the 12 steps, we commence to live them in our daily life. Now, go and have a grateful day!



7 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Anonymous on April 1, 2008 at 4:53 am

    that was the biggest “bitch slap” of an email i have ever read. wow..

    of course you have a right to be angry… and of course – we could ALL stand to be a little “nicer”… but we ALL have our moments. you had yours everything worked out – cest la vie.. anyways, pregnant women deserve some latitude. 🙂

    maybe your sponsor had good intentions… maybe she wanted to get you to refocus on the 12 steps… maybe it was a “tough love moment”. But then again… maybe there is a better way… than writing an email.

    just my 2 cents….

  2. Posted by Sally on April 1, 2008 at 5:13 am

    I wonder if she really meant to be that blunt, or if she lacks email etiquette?

    Regardless, it seems like an email that shouldn’t have been sent. Keeping anger in isn’t good – what is she thinking?

    So, did you have your appt w/ the new doc today? Let us know how it goes…and when that sono is scheduled!! =)

  3. Posted by maggie, dammit on April 1, 2008 at 7:30 am


    I’m speechless.

    And left feeling mildly violent…

  4. Posted by Revenant on April 1, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    Thanks Maggie.

    I HATE AA. I hope your sponsor reads this. There has to be a way to kick addiction without the “g” factor.

    As long as I am here and your issues seem similar to mine. I, personally, lost it publicly, bitched out a bunch of scrapbookers, and sought out and sent warning shots from my lawyer last time some one to me to “pray away” something.

    Do you want me to e-mail her. Pretty please!

  5. Posted by shell on April 1, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    anonymous ~ i TOTALLY felt bitch slapped when i read this. here i tell someone who is supposed to care about me about a tough time that i’m having and she totally places judgment on me and gets all high and mighty with me.

    sally ~ she’s always that blunt, not just over email. and you would think that after knowing her for several years now she would learn to spell my name correctly, too…

    maggie ~ thanks. i felt more than mildly violent when i first read it..

    revenant ~ no kidding. the whole basis of aa is god and it drives me crazy. what about MY willpower? what about what I am doing for MYSELF? why can’t i be accepted for being ME? why is it GOD that has taken away my desire to drink? why can’t it be ME? and for the record, that desire has NOT been lifted. i just know how i was when i drank, and i don’t want to be like that. I decided not to drink. GOD didn’t decide.

  6. Posted by WendyB on April 1, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    Start your response email thusly: “Dear Jackhole:”

  7. Posted by Gina on April 3, 2008 at 3:29 am

    I don’t agree with whole leaving things in “God’s hands.” I mean, if you are going to lean that way, Jesus was all about teaching us to make decisions for ourselves. I mean, it’s all right there!

    And, you have every right to be pissed.

    Getting into a slow boil…

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