it’s meme time!

i discovered a new site the other day and loved this meme so much i had to take a stab at it myself. so, without further adieu, i give you 15 things i have never said to 15 different people.

1. you seriously need to eat a cheeseburger. now. with fries. and a regular coke. no, make that a chocolate shake. what you weigh is unacceptable.

2. ever since you got promoted, you have turned into an arrogant asshole. our whole relationship changed and that really makes me sad. you hardly take the time to return my emails now. do you really think you’re that great? because, seriously? you’re not.

3. you know that song, by brooks and dunn, big timin’ in a small town? yeah. that’s written about you. i don’t know what happened to you, but you have been acting like such a horse’s ass for the past few years and it’s really old. and don’t be hating because your family only moved here 30 years ago and not 100. you can’t change that no matter how hard you try.

4. you were my first true love, yet i don’t think you realized that. i still think about you from time to time, but thank my lucky stars that i’m no longer with you.

5. i’m tired of the pity party you are constantly asking me to attend each time i talk to you. life can be tough but seriously? get over yourself.

6. i cannot believe how much you have put up with me. thank you for everything.

7. i’m so glad i have you to share my deep dark secrets with. and that you don’t judge me is awesome. thanks for being such a great friend.

8. just because we had sex before does not mean i ever want to have sex with you again. why can’t you understand that?

9. i wonder what happened to you. you will always be the one who got away. at least all of my memories of you are great.

10. you have become so shallow since you got married. i don’t even like talking to you anymore. not only are you shallow, but you’re clueless as well. you have become the kind of stay at home wife i despise.

11. stop wearing those faux crocodile pumps with the big pink bow. they are ugly!

12. you are a pretentious snob and i cannot stand being around you. you think you are better than everyone else and you are not. you are nothing. you hold your nose so high in the air but don’t even know what you are holding your nose for. you are a twit.

13. music and the arts are amazing. and yes, people do become very successful and are very happy because of it. i’m just sad that you don’t realize that.

14. stop living in the past. it’s over and done with. you can’t change it. just move forward. really. it will be okay. hey, you might even find happiness.

15. i simply adore you. you have so much grace and poise. i want to be like you when i grow up.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Anonymous on August 30, 2007 at 10:38 am

    heres another one:

    “youre a total Dallas-Ft. Worth who is a fundamentally unsound Whiskey Tango Tweeker, and i bet you dollars to donuts that the carpets dont match the drapes and you totally have a DeForest Kelly not a hardwood floor. Wot?????”

  2. Posted by Gina on August 30, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    This is a prety cool meme. I may steal it.

  3. Posted by Terry on August 30, 2007 at 4:01 pm

    Oh, I love this meme… I wish I could steal it, but they would know who I was speaking to if they ever read it!! 😦

  4. Posted by Maybelline Jones on August 30, 2007 at 10:14 pm

    Lovely! I’m glad you did it. And the rest of you, try it! It’s very liberating.

  5. Posted by Gypsy on August 31, 2007 at 1:05 am

    I love these kinds of “confessionals.” Great read!

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