what is love?

where is love?
does it fall from skies above?
is it underneath the willow tree
that i’ve been dreaming of?

love is such a strange thing. with it, we feel like we are on top of the world. without it, we feel like we are struggling to breath. or maybe that’s just how i feel. i have aspects of love from my friends and my family, but then there are other places where there feels like there is no love at all. or at least not the kind of soft, gentle love that i am so desperately looking for. kindess, warmth, thougtfulness…that’s love. that’s what i’m missing from one in particular. and intimacy? yeah, that word is foreign. i’m beginning to think things like that only happen to people in the books i read or in the movies i watch.

i have great love with my friends and parents. just for my birthday alone, i received 7 phone calls, 3 packages in the mail from friends and went out to two birthday dinners. it was great.

the unexpected phone calls and packages were especially great.

the dinners, however, were not so great.

i picked both places, and the first place had good food but horrible service and i was with a bit of a grump. you would think that c would at least try to be in a nice mood for my b-day dinner, but i guess that would be too much to ask.

the second dinner, the food was excellent, but the people i was with complained about everything ~ the menu, the setting, the sun…they also gave me a birthday card with a mini crown on it that was supposed to stay on the card, yet they insisted that i wear the crown. um…it’s not suposed to come off the card. but, i played nice and pulled the crown off the card and tried to attach it to my head with little luck. they called me a poor sport for not wearing the crown during dinner. whatever. it wasn’t supposed to come off the card, you freaks! oh, well.

birthday’s over and back to work. i’m on day 7 and am really looking forward to having the next two days off. i don’t want to do ANYTHING. i’m going to hang out with a girlfriend on thrusday. we’re going to get tattoos. well, i’m going to get the one i have on my foot retouched as it has faded a bit. i’m not sure if i’ll get anything else, but we’ll see when the time comes. she’s getting a new one, though.

i wish the day was over so i could go home and take a nap with atticus. 🙂 now that is love!


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Sally on September 20, 2006 at 7:11 am

    Love is a weird thing when it comes to women and men…it means different things to us.

    I have learned this the hard way a little bit. B and I have struggled with this…I have felt unloved by him in the past, and he’s felt unloved by me in the past.

    The reason is because I feel loved when he is kind, and warm and affectionate and tells me that he loves me.

    He could give a rip if I did those things to him. He feels loved when I show him I respect him, and when I acknowledge that he’s the head of our household by listening to him and letting him make decisions (even when I don’t completely agree with him).

    There are a couple GREAT books out there that I’ve read that talk about this. They are:

    1. The Five Love Languages
    By: Gary Chapman (see website also)

    2. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs
    By: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

    I think they are both AWESOME books. B and I have both read them, and it doesn’t mean our relationship is perfect, but it certainly has helped!

    Hang in there!

  2. Posted by shell on September 21, 2006 at 8:28 am

    thanks! i do have the five languages of love and have read some of it. guess i should dig in and read the rest, and have him read it too!

    today he asked me out to lunch, which was great and something he hasn’t done in FOREVER. i just need the small things. well, that and some diamond earrings would be nice. ha…just kidding.

    i tried to talk to him last night, but he kept responding that i was cranky and didn’t want to talk to me, which made me more annoyed. i’m just so frustrated by him.

    thanks for your love, though. 🙂

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