finding happiness

ah happiness. what is true happiness for me? to live somewhere peaceful and serene with all my friends. someplace where there is culture, entertainment and laughter to be found at any given moment.

i just wish that someplace was closer to where i am now because i feel so far from it. my friends are the only ones who keep me going but sometimes that’s just not enough. i just had a break down at work and my home life feels like it’s a mess. i need to make some changes, but i just don’t know where to start.

i just want to crawl under a rock and cry. i really do. i’d like to find some nice arms to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. unfortunatley, that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

i’ve hit a wall at work and at home. i don’t know what direction to go in. i feel like i have talked and talked and talked and i’m not getting anywhere. c thinks everthing is fine and that i’m just overreacting to things. he never takes what i say seriously.

work expects me to be in 10 directions at the same time and gets mad whenever i’m not in the right direction at the right time. ggggrrrrr.

that rock is looking better and better. i’m not feeling sorry for myself, i’m just feeling frustrated. i just don’t know where to turn any more.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by October on July 28, 2006 at 5:31 am

    Turn to your friends. That’s why they are there, that’s what they are for. Talk to them. Discuss everything that you are feeling with them and then, once you have it straight in your mind and you clearly state what you are feeling without breaking down, talk to c. If you need to make changes, then you should figure out what you want and do that rather than doing what he wants you to do. It’s easy to give up and cash in your chips. It takes great strength and vast courage to admit that you need help. I have faith in you and your strength. Don’t be afraid of letting those who love you help you figure stuff out.

  2. Posted by shell on July 28, 2006 at 2:01 pm

    i whole heartidly (sp?) agree. my friends are so outstanding and have truly showed how much they are there for me. i do need to sit down and figure things out, though. thank for believing in me, too. i’m not a giver-uper so and i never go without a good fight, so i’ve got a ways to go, but i will be strong. i hope.

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