my pity party is ending

i’m going to try and stop my pity party now. i’m sorry for dragging you all with me, but know that it means A LOT to me that you’ve all responded either on here or via email. i’m just having a hard time right now and as someone pointed out, i’m not really fighting the deamons like i should be. i’m letting them get the best of me. i know i’m not on top of my game right now, but i’ve got to get back on it or else i don’t know what will happen.

i’m taking deep breaths and have taken a few walks around the property here at work. it’s a nice day outside, so i know someone is looking out for me.

mr. fp is on a roll today, and i’m trying to stay out of his way. he did get on my case this morning, but well, that’s in the past so i need to forget about it. i’m going to take kate’s advice and do something good this afternoon…for me…and go swim. i know i need to get out of this stupid funk that i’m in. i haven’t had much time for just myself, so i know that has caught up with me.

and like another friend advised, i’m going to stop doing nice things for people who don’t appreciate me. damn them! so, thanks, wushci.

and kw, thanks for your verses and your constant kindness. it means so much to me.

and the big white bear. ah uh yew and take your words seriously.

thank you all. i need to get on the right path again and walk towards the light and kindness, and not hide away from it in the shallow hole that i have allowed myself to wallow in.

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