if you’re a constant whiner, just leave me alone!

every monday somewhere between 5 and 5:30, i get a call from a woman in the program. she calls with her whiney voice asking me if i’m going to the meeting tonight and if i can give her a ride. the first few times it was fine. i didn’t mind picking her up; i liked her. i felt bad for her. she had a real tough go at things. we had the same sponsor. but after a while, things got old. i grew increasingly tired of not getting anywhere with the sponsor, so i found a new one, while she stayed with the same lady, yet would just whine about her situation.

there’s a saying in aa, where one either is part of the problem, or part of the solution. she is part of the problem.

she likes to whine and hear her own voice. over easter, i picked her up and brought her a little easter basket. for her birthday, i picked her up and brought her a little gift. i was just being nice; a friend. yet all i ever got in return from her was whining. i called sometimes during the week, just to say hello, to reach out, like we’re supposed to do, and i didn’t get anything back from her either.

i soon realized that the only reason she calls me is for a ride. she lost her car because of her drinking, and feel bad for her situation, so help her when i can. but lately, i just can’t. the last few times i’ve picked her up and taken her to the meeting, her boyfriend and another good friend have been there, both who could have given her a ride and who live a lot closer to her than i do. then, after the meeting so lollygags around, talking with everyone, not really caring if i have to go or not. i like to visit after the meeting, but usually, i’m hungry and want to get home. it takes me forever to get home after a meeting with her. and then usually, her boyfriend follows us to her place so he can spend the night. why oh why doesn’t he just take her instead of me? she’s not fooling anyone that they’re dating, if that’s what she thinks she’s doing.

a few weeks ago she said she would ride her bike if i couldn’t give her a ride, and so i didn’t call her back. she only lives oh, about 1/2 mile a way from the meeting location. i’m tired of being used, which is exactly how i feel she is treating me. otherwise, she would call me for other reasons that just a ride.

i didn’t go last monday because i wasn’t feeling well, and she never called to see why i missed. i had mentioned not going to a few others and ran into them over the course of the week at other meetings and was told i was missed. i decided not to go today as i want to enjoy the remaining few hours of my day off. i won’t be returning her call. someone else can play sucker to her whine.

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