so i just spoke to my dad. i told him how we went to the giants game and saw barry bonds hit 715. his response? “yeah, but he still has to beat the record. he didn’t do anything great. he hasn’t beat hank aaron, yet.” um…what? yeah, right, because hitting 715 balls out of the park, passing babe ruth, that’s not a big feat. see, he does this all the time. no matter what it is i say, he always has something else to say, something to make me feel like whatever it is i have told him, doesn’t matter. it’s still not good enough. when i was swimming in high school and said i place third in a race, he would say, “yeah, but you didn’t place second. or first.” it goes on and on. my mother is the same way. nothing is good enough. i hate it. i have always struggled with math. i’m a word person, not a number person. when i would get a ‘c’ on an exam that i studied hard for, she would say ” just think what you could do if you really put in some effort.” what? i studied my hardest. it just didn’t come to me. it was hard for me. at my last job, when i told them all the responsibilites that i had, they said, “don’t get an ego, now. you’re not doing that much.” nice. thanks for the encouragement. when i called a few weeks ago to tell them we’re making some headway saving for a house, they said “well, you’re not there yet. you still have a long ways to go.” thanks. i know that. i was just trying to say that we’re on our way. and no matter what i say, they never really hear what i’m saying. they always interrupt and tell me what they’re thinking and how things should be done. why can’t i have normal parents who are proud of me? and are happy for my accomplishments? the only thing they are proud of is the fact that i have stopped drinking. and the saddest part of that, is that is that they had no idea that i was drinking until i was home for my birthday, last september.


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