ya gotta hump on hump day!

mr. fussypants was extra fussy today. to start things out, he has to start wearing suits now and i think that has gotten his panties in a bundle. the upper management of the company is upgrading the way we all dress and such, very big brother of them, and the biggest changes seem to be in the way management has to dress. hopefully i won’t have to make many, if any, changes to my wardrobe. i’m pretty conservative in the way i dress for work.

my tattoo is doing nicely today. the swirlies are very vibrant now. i’m not sure if i like them, but i’ll sure i’ll work my way into it. the star looks awesome, though. i know it will fade a little, so maybe in a week or so all will be better.

more comments came today about my hair. i don’t really see what the big deal is, other than the fact that no one around here ever seems to change anything about themselves, so by me doing something different, it is quite shocking.

c called me this afternoon and was the sweetest boy. i love him so much. we have gotten so much closer since i have stopped drinking ~ it’s really amazing. we are on such a closer level than we ever were. we are so open and honest with eachother, well to a much better extent, i should say. no one every needs to know everything about anyone….

one of my coworkers is raising chickens and i asked her about them today. c has wanted chickens for a while now and since children may not be in our future, it would be fun to think of some pets. but if i have chickens, does that mean i have to give up the idea of having a kitty? hmm…that might be a little too close for comfort if i have have both…

i am still pretty torn about that whole not having children thing, but it’s almost like i am torn because it seems like the option has been taken away from me even though i had never made the decision to have them in the first place. oh, i really don’t know what i want. i do want a pet, and that’s the bottom line. i think i want a child so i will have a built in family, but i’m too much in my own head for that. and even if i were to have a child, that doesn’t mean that they will grow up to be my friend, or to like me for that matter. i know we don’t have to make any rash decisions, and it’s a lot to think of right now.

i don’t know that i would make a good mother in the first place. i have a tough time with pets, as it is. i like my freedom and having little responsibility for others. even c is a handful for me at times. i love him dearly, but i do wish he would spend more time caring for me rather than the other way around. not that i mind doting on him, but i’d like him to dote on me more than he does.

it’s nice and sunny out right now. it was freezing again this morning when i left for work. it was soo cold that i had to wait forever for my car to warm up. there was ice everywhere, it looked just like snow. at least the weather warms up in the afternoon, making it down right delightful to sit outside. we convinced mr. fussypants to have one of our daily meetings outside today. i could tell he really didn’t want to, but since so many of us did, we had the upper hand. heh. i’m glad it worked out that way. i definitely needed my dose of vitamin d.

today is the perfect day to go home and take a bubble bath. the way the sun shines into the bathroom and how the breeze floats through the window, just makes it feel like heaven. light a delicious candle, grab a good book, and i’m all set. i’m in need of some good down time today, so that’s what i’m going to do.

i have decided not to go to the meeting tonight and need to call my sponsor and let her know. i know i have been having a tough time lately, but i need to take care of myself as well. plus, it’s not like i have been missing any meetings these days, either. just because she has been missing a lot, doesn’t mean i have to go with her tonight. and yes, i am being selfish. i’ve got to be sometime or another.

yesterday i got a huge compliment from flowergirl. she said she liked my writing and has asked me to help write her profile for her business. i’m so excited. i’m going to work on that tonight so i can have something for her tomorrow. this is just the boost i need to get me going.


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