good-bye blonde

so i’m back from getting my hair done. got very mixed results. i wasn’t sure what i wanted, but knew i needed a change. my hair was looking too much like it did back in high school. in fact, a girl i haven’t talked to you in years got in touch with me recently and after sending her some recent photos, made the same comment. this has put me into a bit of a funk to do something new. i guess i have been doing a lot of that since i got sober. today was just another day in on the road to somewhere new.

i went from dirty blonde (yes i washed my hair!) to chocolate brown. i cut about an inch off as well. i like it, but it is a drastic change. c really doesn’t like it even though he says he does. i could just tell by the look on his face when he first saw me. he has tried to convince me that he likes it, but his has been so into long blonde hair recently.

i guess i’m just tired of how things are going in my life right now and needed a change. on the outside things look great, but on the inside, it’s not so good. my cravings are slowing down, but i’m still not that happy with some things. it’s like a daily up and down. nothing really i can pinpoint, but always something tugging at me.

i’ve been feeling like my views and thoughts are so different that everyone else’s. it’s hard not knowing people who are like me. i feel so closed off, like i put walls up that no one can climb over. no one knows everything, or even a lot about me. even the close ones don’t know that much. i guess i’ve just gotten burned so many times that i really don’t like saying that much anymore. i definitely have gotten a lot quieter these days.

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